


Not One But Two

by BatzMaru65 (tmweis2771)



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Superman (Comics), Superman - All Media Types, Superman/Batman (Comics)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Maybe slightly OCC depending on your preference, Not based on any specific timeline, Wedding, Written for Superbat Exchange 2019, misuse of magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:48:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21882523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmweis2771/pseuds/BatzMaru65
Summary: Caught in a blast of magic, Superman was split into two - human Clark Kent and Kryptonian Kal-El. And this happened a day before his wedding which had been announced as between billionaire Bruce Wayne and reporter Clark Kent. Bruce refused to go through with the ceremony, not wanting Kal-El to miss out on it and the League decided to step in and help out.(“But it matters to me!” Bruce cut him off, voice strained with emotions, “It totally utterly matters to me so until you’re whole again, the wedding’s off!”)
Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Superman/Batman
Comments: 14
Kudos: 183
Collections: Superbat Exchange Winter 2019





	Not One But Two

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a gift for lovelastart as part of the Superbat Exchange 2019. Do check out the rest of the gift fics on Tumblr at Superbat Exchange. They're very good.
> 
> I had a lot of fun doing this and I hope you'll like it too. Forgive me if the characters are a little OOC. All my knowledge and facts I had gathered were based on the tons of fanfic I've read as well as information gleaned from Google and Wikipedia.
> 
> Enjoy.

“I’m not going to do it! Not like this!”

Bruce glared at his fiancés, body trembling in outrage. Yes, fiancés. For there were two of them right now, staring back at him with their brows furrowed in exasperation.

“It still can be done with just Clark alone,” Kal continued the argument, picking up from where his other half had left off, “You don’t have to have me there and it doesn’t matter anyway. Cause in the end we’ll still be...”

“But it matters to me!” Bruce cut him off, voice strained with emotions, “It totally utterly matters to me so until you’re whole again, the wedding’s off!”

With that, Bruce turned and stormed out of the Watchtower’s medbay, cape flaring out like a dark thundercloud. Those who had been eavesdropping outside, immediately scattered out of his way, sympathy evident on their faces. Bruce ignored them, heart sick with bitterness.

The universe must really hate him or he and his husband-to-be were truly a pair of cursed lovers as the press had labelled them. To have this happening the day before his wedding – a wedding that had been postponed twice already due to end-of-the-world emergencies caused by beings from other dimensions. But Bruce would rather call it off than go through the ceremony with only half the man he loved. Kal might insist that he was okay with not being there but Bruce knew better. There would be regrets which his fiancé would have to bear and Bruce don’t need such a sacrifice for the sake of a wedding which had been broadcasted as a union between billionaire Bruce Wayne and small town Clark Kent. Kal was an integral part of his fiancé’s identity and he shouldn’t have to missed out on such an important occasion.

Snarling in frustration, Bruce punched in the passcode with more force than necessary and the door to his quarters slid open. Flinging his cowl and gauntlets onto the floor, he collapsed onto his bed, staring angrily at the ceiling.

That’s why he hated magic! Fucking unpredictable and near impossible to plan contingencies for.

They had already won, had forced the warlocks back through the closing portal when a stupid blast of magical energy had torn through at the last minute, sudden and unexpected and before Zatanna could shield herself against it. Superman had zoomed in and it had struck him instead in a blinding explosion of light which had frightened the hell out of Bruce. When their visions finally cleared, there stood Superman, split into two, identical in every way except that one was Kryptonian and the other human.

A knock on the door disrupted Bruce’s thoughts and he flung an arm over his eyes, ignoring it. Must be Clark and Kal come to do more persuading and he was tired of pointing out to his fiancés that he, Mr Bruce Wayne, was in love with the sum of him and would rather go through the wedding with all of him than have a part of him lurking somewhere out of sight.

Maybe, to others, he was making a big hoo-ha over a mere technicality but that was how he dealt with loving someone (which rarely happened in his life), greedy for it to be as perfect as possible in the areas he had control over. Clark had wanted to strangle him when they first started dating, driven up the wall by Bruce’s desire to deploy every trick he had gleaned from ‘worldly romantic notions’ (loads of flowers and chocolates, candlelight dinners at rooftops and balconies and whatever spots Google recommended, and buying enough lovers’ locks to place at every possible ‘love bridges’ available in the world). All this just because he wanted their dating to be perfect.

The knock came again, louder and determined not to stop and Bruce’s smile vanished, replaced by a scowl.

“Go away and don’t come back until you’re one again!”

“Bruce, it’s me. Can we talk please?”

However, it was Diana’s muffled voice that drifted into the room, startling him. Bruce contemplated ignoring her before he sighed and dragged himself off the bed. It’s Diana at the door and when the princess wanted to talk, you had better let her talk. The last time he did not, Diana had kicked the door down with a want-me-to-do-more-destruction smile on her face. The woman really didn’t like getting the silent treatment.

When the door slid open, Bruce arched an eyebrow when Zatanna walked in as well, still upset and guilt-stricken. 

“Bruce, I’m so...” Zatanna tried to apologise again but Bruce waved her off, forcing out a smile to pacify her. None of it was her fault – Superman dashing in to save her (Batman would have done the same) and her inability to reverse the magic twisted by the portal’s force field (splitting Superman into two instead of smashing him into smithereens). At least the effect was temporary and he would have his beloved back to his usual self in a few days’ time.

Plunking himself on the bed, Bruce glared at the two of them, body language obviously telling them to say what they want to say and get the hell out. However, Diana took her time to settle into the only armchair in the room, unfazed by the infamous ‘Bat-glare’, while Zatanna stood behind her, anxious yet strangely excited. When she was finally satisfied – legs crossed, looking elegant and regal – Diana glanced at her best friend, fuming in annoyance.

“Actually, I’m here about the weddings.”

Bruce snorted. What else would she be here for. Definitely not to admire the spartan furnishings of his quarter which Clark had tried to brighten up with a set of Superman/Batman plushies he’d grabbed from some anime convention. Then he narrowed his eyes at a grammatical error in Diana’s sentence.

“WeddingS...? What fishiness are you up to now, Diana.”

“That’s mean, calling me fishy when all I want is to help,” Diana smiled, not at all upset at Bruce’s remark, “And the League feels the same way too. We are all sad to see your important day affected yet again and we‘ll really like to help you two finish the ceremony this time.”

“Help..! I think it’s more likely they don’t want to miss out on the post-wedding party yet again.”

Bruce immediately regretted his words, formulated by a brain exhausted by today’s ordeal. Zatanna looked disappointed while Diana frowned in disapproval

“Bruce...we do care, you know.”

Bruce bit his lip and averted his eyes. Diana was right. They do care, especially the founding members who were the first to notice their romantic interest. They had then agonized over how idiotic he and Clark were for not realising it (deciding to meddle at some point) and later, as their love affair blossomed, watched over it with the protectiveness and pride of a mother hen.

Why were they so involved? Bruce had no idea. Maybe it was the stress of being a superhero with the weight of the world on their shoulders. Maybe it’s the trauma of having lost loved ones and just wanting a happy ending for some of their own. No matter the reason, what Bruce had just said was unfair and uncalled for.

Bruce looked at the women with a wan smile of apology.

“Sorry and...just what do you have in mind?”

The two women leaned forward, eager to divulge the details.

* * *

“I still don’t like it. There’re way too many factors that could go wrong in an instant,” Bruce muttered, fingers fidgeting with his bowtie as he paced restlessly in their presidential suite at the Halldorf Hotel. There were still some minutes to go before the start of their wedding and Bruce was getting agitated, mind working feverishly to predict and counteract possible scenarios.

At the sound of his tensed voice, Clark looked up from his phone, stopping the updating of their wedding blog (Perry’s doing, out to milk the wedding of the year for all it’s worth). He smiled, fond yet exasperated at his soon-to-be husband’s tendency to be a worrywart, especially when he was not the one who drafted the plan. Tossing his phone aside (to hell with Perry, Bruce would always be his number one priority), Clark called out, a hand patting the empty space on the loveseat he had been sitting in.

“Bruce, come here.”

Clark’s voice was quiet yet filled with an assertiveness that brook no argument. Bruce paused in his pacing, lips pursed. It still surprises him, this new fact he had recently discovered – that Clark and not Kal who was the authoritative one. He had always assumed his fiancé’s commanding presence was derived from the superpowers he possessed so naturally, Kal should be the one calling the shots. However, it turned out otherwise, with Kal deferring to Clark when decisions had to be made. Look at how readily he had nodded his head when Clark approved Diana’s plan to have two instead of one wedding.

Sighing, Bruce plopped himself next to Clark and his fiancé immediately slid an arm round his shoulders, pressing a kiss against his cheek.

“Will you quit worrying. You’ve got the whole League..,” Clark gestured at the door, “An entire group of metahumans armed with enough abilities to stop world-destructive invasions. What makes you think they can’t handle just two simple weddings?”

“Simple!” Bruce snorted, relaxing into the familiar embrace that was not as warm due to the absence of a certain Kryptonian physiology, “Where’s the simple when you got so many people involved in so many steps in order to pull the wool over so many eyes – the guests, the staff and don’t forget the pesky horde of news-hungry hyenas.”

“Hey, I’m one of those news-hungry hyenas too,” teased Clark and Bruce winced at his thoughtlessness.

Clark laughed, softer and more reserved than the boyish laughter that was totally Kal’s domain. Rather than being offended, he found Bruce cute like this. Frustrating at times but still cute cause Bruce was at his most honest when he was fretting over those he loved, wanting the best for them. That’s why they ended up having such an elaborate wedding when all they wanted was a simple ceremony without any of the limelight. But Bruce was worried. He was a celebrity after all, an inescapable fact with his wealth and status, and Bruce did not want wild speculations and gossips to hurt Clark in anyway.

_“That’s why I’m going to throw the grandest wedding ever so that the whole world knows. That every single one knows how serious I’m about you. And that you deserve all the respect and courtesy as my lawfully-wedded husband. I don’t want anyone, not a single fucking one of them to have an excuse to slander_ _you just because we wanted our wedding to be private.”_

Clark chuckled, remembering how puffed with righteous indignation his recently-proposed-to boyfriend had been when he spoke those words. Meanwhile, Bruce was watching him with narrowed eyes, feeling so unjust. There he was stressing over their weddings and there his fiancé was, laughing and not the least bit worried. Annoyed, Bruce suddenly pinched Clark, thumb and finger easily squeezing the cheek muscles which he could never do so previously.

“Ouch! That hurts!”

‘Serves you right,” Bruce smirked and attempted to pinch more of Clark.

While Clark was defending himself (a struggle now that he had no superpowers), a knock interrupted them. The door opened and Diana slipped in, looking beautiful in her dark-blue shimmering gown.

“Time to...”

And she glowered at the two of them.

“Really! Can’t you two wait till your weddings are done!”

Bruce grimaced while Clark smiled sheepishly at how compromising the two of them looked – Bruce half-straddling him, his hands underneath Clark’s jacket, trying to pinch his sides.

“And to think who’s the one wanting his wedding to be perfect,” Diana grumbled.

Bruce scrambled off Clark in a hurry. Diana immediately fussed over him, straightening his jacket and re-arranging the kerchief tucked into the breast pocket. She did the same to Clark as well, tugging here and tweaking there, and with a final sweep of her hand across Clark’s right shoulder, brushing off lint, she was finally satisfied.

“Shall we get a move on then?” Diana eyed the two of them.

Clark looked to Bruce and offered him his right arm. Bruce slipped his into Clark’s and despite all his misgivings, he could not help feeling a rush of excitement that sent his heart fluttering and his lips twitching up into a smile.

With Diana leading the way, the two of them walked out, looking real cool and dashing in their matching cream-white tuxedoes.

* * *

“...I hereby pronounce you both as husband and husband.”

Bruce flung his arms round Clark’s neck, unable to suppress his joy any longer. Finally, it was done and he and Clark were officially each other’s, to have and to hold and to quarrel and make love with. Clark, beaming with just as much happiness, wrapped his arms round Bruce and the two kissed before the officiant (a young clerk from the Metropolis city council) could say ‘ _you may now kiss your groom’_.

Cheers and applause erupted in the ballroom as the guests, divided into two halves by a red-carpeted aisle in the middle, offered their congratulations. Most were important business associates of Wayne Enterprises or prominent socialites that had supported many of Bruce’s philanthropic projects. Only the front two rows were occupied by the couple’s closest family and friends. They were also the most enthusiastic in expressing their delight at seeing the two tie the knot. Martha was dabbing tears from her eyes with Lois hugging her tight. And Alfred, heart bursting with gladness, could not stop smiling at such a marvellous sight which he thought he would never see before he died.

However, all these were lost on the newly-wed couple who were in the midst of a fervent kiss. They would have continued kissing for far too long than appropriate had they not been jolted out of their lovely-dovely moment.

“Ladies and gentlemen, a moment of your attention please.”

Diana’s voice cut through the din in the ballroom with the help of a high-tech sound system. Bruce and Clark reluctantly pulled apart, eyes never leaving each other. And Clark grabbed Bruce’s hand now sporting a platinum band inlaid with two diamonds, one black and one blue, giving it a tight squeeze.

“It’ll work out fine,” he mouthed to his husband.

Bruce offered him a tiny smile before he sucked in a deep breath, bracing himself for what was to come next. Together, they turned to look at Diana standing where the red carpet aisle ended and the doors leading to the foyer began.

Already the clapping had faltered, stuttering to a stop as confusion set in. Guests were glancing around looking for the speaker who was not on the stage before them. They were helped along by other ‘guests’ (league members planted in the crowd) who were gesturing excitedly to the back of the room where Diana was, triggering a common human mentality – herd behaviour. True enough, guests were shifting and turning in their seats, craning their necks to catch a glimpse of Diana, unaware that they were being manipulated.

The first phase – divert attention from the front of the room – was working great and Bruce could not help but smile in pride at the League’s teamwork. Even the news media, confined to the foyer outside the ballroom, watching the entire ceremony via ‘live’ feed on two big screens, had been taken care of as well. All they could now see was just Diana, the cameras in the ballroom (under Victor’s charge) were now trained on her as she got ready to drop the ‘bomb’ on the unexpecting crowd.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your kind attention. I’m here actually to...”

That was their cue and everyone in the know began to move. Oliver and Dinah were already escorting the bewildered officiant off the stage, heading right while Bruce and Clark exited stage left. Their designated seats were tucked between Alfred and Martha on the front row. Clark sat down but Bruce never got there. The moment he was off the stage, Barry had whizzed him out of the ballroom, moving at his slowest speed so as to avoid sudden sonic boom or burst of wind. 43 seconds later, Bruce found himself back in his presidential suite, a little dizzy from all the speed travel.

“He’s all yours!” Barry waved before disappearing in a flash, leaving Bruce alone with Kal.

“Three minutes,” Kal uttered and Bruce nodded his head, already shrugging off his jacket. They had timed Diana’s speech and knew how long they got to get Bruce changed. Kal stepped in to help and Bruce narrowed his eyes in warning.

“No handsy business, get it.”

“Hey, I know how to behave okay,” Kal pouted. He had already gotten the bowtie off, fingers moving on to undo the buttons on the dress shirt.

“Yah right,” Bruce scoffed, toeing off his shoes while unbuckling his belt at the same time, “Who’s the one who smacked my butt in front of the entire League, huh?”

“It wasn’t intentional. I was just too happy and my fingers slipped.”

Bruce huffed in exasperation as he tugged his unbuttoned shirt off. That’s Kal for you. A cheeky bundle of spontaneous energy that reminded Bruce of a puppy he once owned. And just like a puppy, Kal was also extremely affectionate, wanting to cuddle and snuggle and shower kisses irregardless of time and place. Even his other half had gotten quite riled up with jealousy, telling him to quit it.

Shirt off, Bruce was about to shimmy out of his unzipped pants when Kal pushed him onto the sofa, pulling his pants off in one quick motion. He then knelt in between Bruce’s splayed legs ( _very unnecessary_ , Bruce grumbled in his head), shifted Bruce’s right leg till he was sitting with his knee bent ( _again really unnecessary_ , Bruce shivered at Kal’s heated proximity), and began removing Bruce’s sock suspender before rolling the sock off.

“We don’t have time for this!” Bruce gritted, squirming in his seat.

“My love, there’s always more than enough time with me here,” Kal winked, chucking the removed items aside before moving on to Bruce’s other leg, “And judging from the uproar going on downstairs, we’ve got extra time anyway.”

Throwing his hands in the air, Bruce gave up trying to restraint his Kryptonian. He grabbed the top half of his Batsuit (laid out on the same sofa he was sitting on) and tugged it over his head. Once done, he reached for his pants but it disappeared right before his eyes.

“What the...” Bruce glared at Kal kneeling and holding the bottom half of Bruce’s suit out, fingers stretching the waistband, waiting for him to wear.

“I’m not an invalid!”

“I’m just wanting to help.”

A momentarily silence before Bruce heaved out a long-suffering sigh and got up. Hands braced against Kal’s shoulders, he stepped into the pants and Kal dragged the suit up, grinning as his fingertips brushing across bare skin causing Bruce’s heart rate to spike up. He was back in an instant, a Bat-boot in hand, and Bruce rolled his eyes but obediently let Kal do as he wished.

When the last clasp of his boot had been snapped into place, Bruce turned to get his gauntlets and he was suddenly enveloped in a bear hug from behind.

“Kal! We really really don’t...”

“Thank you,” Kal murmured, voice emotional, “Thank you for...”

And Kal was at a loss for words. There was so much he was grateful for – Bruce being his first friend whom he hadn’t needed to hide who he was. Bruce being downright blunt and reprimanding when he was foolish, unafraid of his superpowers. And Bruce always sensitive to his needs even before Kal was aware he had any of them.

And Kal was glad that Bruce didn’t go ahead with just Clark for the wedding. He hadn’t realised how affected he could be, thinking that he was strong and magnanimous. But this morning when he saw Bruce and Clark standing perfect and happy together, Kal suddenly felt alienated and unnecessary. That maybe if he was not around, Bruce would...

“Kal...” Bruce laid a hand over his fiancé’s clasped ones, seeming to know what his fiancé was thinking, “You’re just as important to me so stop feeling as if you’re unwanted. I love you and you’re still going to be my husband, MY husband, get it. And Superman’s still going to get his Batman.”

And Kal laughed, warm and bubbly and so in love. Rao, that’s why he wanted this man so badly. That’s why he couldn’t get enough of him. That’s why...

“Do you still want to get married or not!” barked Bruce, body reacting to Kal’s breaths brushing across his neck and ear, “I’m sure no matter how fast your speed is, time is definitely running out!”

Still laughing, Kal plopped a kiss on Bruce’s jaw before he got Bruce completely suited up in just under 4.9 seconds.

“See, told you we’ll always have enough time with me here.”

He then swept Bruce off his feet, carrying him in his arms.

“Hey! That’s not what we agreed on,” Bruce protested, “I’m not having you make Batman look like a whimp!”

“I don’t care. You and Clark got to walk arm-in-arm down the aisle. So I get to carry you right up to the stage. And if you struggle some more I’ll carry you like this until the ceremony ends.”

With that, Kal stepped off the railing and floated down, their capes fluttering together in the late morning breeze.

* * *

The French doors before the foyer swung open, revealing Superman with Batman in his arms, both haloed by the bright rays of the sun. The press went crazy, surging forward only to be held back by stanchions and a chain of security guards. Cameras flashed and microphones were thrust in their direction while journalists shouted a ton of questions at them. Superman merely smiled, sunshiny and friendly as he strode past, heading towards the grand ballroom whose polished doors had already been held open for them.

The wedding march began to play and guests quickly stumbled to their feet, still shell-shock by the news that they were attending not one but two weddings, both of which would be the talk of the town for years to come. Some were gawking at the unorthodox way the couple had entered but the majority were just too thunderstruck to offer any further reaction.

Kal winked at Diana standing to one side while Bruce glared at her, fighting to maintain his composure. It was so obvious that she was laughing hard on the inside, her shoulders shaking and her lips trembling. And if she was already like this, then the rest of the League....

Bruce’s eyes darted wildly around, taking note of the various degrees of gaiety displayed by the League. The newer members were at least doing their best to maintain a straight face out of respect for their leaders but the rest were just atrocious. And then there’s Alfred and Martha and Lois too!

“This is all your fault!” Bruce hissed, thankful that the cowl hid the blush that was spreading up his ears and down his neck. “How do you expect anyone to respect...”

“Want me to carry you all the way through the ceremony?”

Bruce shut up immediately. Frustrated, he looked to Clark who was smiling way too much. Besides him was another ‘Bruce’ staring fixedly ahead. Yes, another ‘Bruce’, an exact replica of him and Bruce was relieved. So the most crucial part of Diana’s plan was working and a surge of gratitude welled up within him at the effort needed for this phase. His eyes sought out Zatanna standing just behind the other ‘Bruce', her head bowed as she channelled her magic to maintain the lifelike replica of him.. On either side of her was Hal and Arthur, keeping a lookout, making sure that no one noticed or disturbed her

Magic. Bruce smiled ruefully. He had never liked it but now, could not help but be thankful for it. All this was possible because of magic and having his fiancé spilt into two was not that disastrous after all. In one day, he got to be married twice to his special someone whom he fell in love with years ago but never dared to dream that he could be with him. And in one day, the League which he had never fully trusted, had gone out of their way to help him with what was technically a personal matter. It suddenly dawned on Bruce that he was no longer alone. He had a group of people he could rely on and he had Him to spend the rest of his life with.

The moment Superman put Batman down, Bruce grabbed his fiancé and kissed him, overwhelmed by a mix of gratitude, disbelief and a sense of peace that all was right at last in his life. However, this action of his was too much for the officiant who was a strong believer in order and today was just too messy for him.

“Excuse me, sirs! That’s not suppose to happen yet!”

Laughter burst out in the ballroom and across the world (thanks to the 'live’ broadcast), the officiant’s words became the latest catchphrase used and misused by the social media for all sorts of memes and blogs.

Bruce smiled, lips still pressed against Superman’s. He pulled back and faced the officiant.

“I know but I’m just too happy.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've a Tumblr blog too at SuperbatAddicted. So do drop by and let me know how you feel about the fic or just to chat.


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